5 months ago
Jagah nahi aur diary mein
Yeh ashtray puri bhar gayi hai
Bhari huyi hai jale bhuje adhkahe khayalon ki raakho boo se
Khayal puri tarah se jo ki jale nahi the
Masal diya yaa daba diya tha, bujhe nahi woh
Kuch unke tukde pade hue hain
Bas ek do kash hi leke kuch misre reh gaye the Kuch aisi nazmein jo tod kar phenk di thi isme dhuaa naa nikle
Kuch aise aashaar jo mere brand ke nahi the
Woh ek hi kash mein khans kar ashtray mein ghis ke bhuja diye the
Iss ashtray mein blade se kaati raat ki nabz se
tapakte siyaah katre bujhe hue hain
Chile hue chaand ki tarashein jo raat bhar cheel cheel kar phenkta raha
Khadi huyi pencilon ke chilke khayal ki shiddaton se jo tutti rahi hain
Is ashtray mein hain teeliyaan kuch kate hue naam aur numberon ki
Jalayi thi chand nazmein jinse
Dhuan abhi tak diya salayi se jhad raha hai
Ulat palat ke tamam safon mein jhankta hun
Kahin koi tukda nazm ka bach gaya ho toh usey phir jala lun
Talab lagi hai yeh ashtray puri bhar gayi hai
#ashes #cigarette #ashtray #instapoets #wordporn #thoughts #mindandbody #matchbox #instalife #words #sundayvibes #punediaries
5 months ago
Perfect people are those who see beauty in flaws.. those who accept you as you are and never make you feel like an unwanted being.
~ Jashmi Sirakaje
June 10, 2018
5 months ago
3 days behind lol, bear with me I'm trying my best to catch up. •
I haven't been able to sit down and write since the Caps won. #ALLCAPS 😂
5 months ago
When I was younger, all I ever wanted was to be cared about. To know that I mattered. To know that my life meant something to the people I cared about.
As is the nature of life, disappointment came more frequently than hopes. But I resolved it within myself that if I couldn’t find the person I needed, then I would have to become him. I would become him for the sake of everyone who still needed that person. And as decades have passed, that determination has never waned.
I see you for who you are. Behind those eyes that hide so much...I see you in there.
#wordporn #iseeyou #hope #love #compassion #authentic #writing #writerscommunity #writersofinstagram #youarenotalone
7 months ago
“When something begins, you generally have no idea how it’s going to end. The house you’re going to sell becomes your home, the roommates you were forced to take in become your family and the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.
We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it.
Embrace the entropy of life. You were bred from storms, that is why you are primarily water. You were created from white hot heat and from atoms that will never stop vibrating and shaking within you, so do not vilify your heart when it quakes, do not condemn your life when it surges and when it falls. Embrace its pulse, and the randomness of it all, embrace its disorder.
Life can be a mess - yes, but baby , it’s a wonderful mess.”
7 months ago
“People are really romantic about the beginnings of things. Fresh start, clean slate, a world of possibility. But no matter what new adventure you're embarking on, you're still you. You bring you into every new beginning in your life. So how different can it possibly be?
It's all anybody wants, right? Clean slate, a new beginning. Like that's gonna be any easier. Ask the guy pushing the boulder up the hill. Nothing is easy about starting over. Nothing at all.
But it gets better.
The way you flay your heart open for the world is brave, in which you refuse to be anything but soft, even when you feel like you may break under the weight of feeling, is why you are needed here.
Beautiful things are vanishing each day, and I am proud of you for fighting to ensure that your soul is not one. You need to keep fighting.
You will find the places that leave every tender part of you feeling calm, "peaceful with who you are. You will find the places that inspire everything inside of you to surge and ache with the beauty of being alive. These places, they are not where you were born, but they will be where you are reborn. You will know when you have found them. Baby, will you know.
There are others like you in this world;who are messy hearted, others who feel things intensely, and without hesitation, others who cannot contain all that they hold within the worlds of their mind because they have only ever known how to pour, how to shatter, how to give and give and give. You will find these people, and they will become your family — you will take care of each other. You will grow together, in the moments between breaths, in the stunning silence that blankets your souls when you connect with the fact that in a world of billions, in the middle of all this noise, you found each other.
But mostly, we are here, together, dealing with what is dark within us.You aren't alone. You are going to survive this. Someday, you’re going to be sitting in a place you love, surrounded by people who inspire you, and you’re going to think back to the storms, and the hurricanes that rattled through your bones, and you are going to smile.The clarity will wash over you.
And baby you will be free!"
7 months ago
“We see addiction every day. It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze, cigarettes, maybe the wrong person? I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away. Before you heal, it may get worse for a while.
The thing about addiction is it never ends well, because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high stops feeling good and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you're there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.
It’s not easy to let go. I know. Letting go means forgetting everything you've know and loved for so long.
How can it be easy? But darling, it will get better. Breathe and let go, one day at a time.
You may not believe me now but you’re going to get through this. You may fall apart at the mere mention of something, break from time to time, and so on.
These little things may break you all over again and convince you that you can never heal. But darling, trust me you will. One day you’re going to wake up and find that you don’t care anymore. So please try to make it easier for yourself and let go .
Until you let go of this toxic madness you will find yourself running in circles, unable to move forward. Just breathe and hang on, a little while more.
I know you constantly wonder if theres anything you could have done better. You wonder if it was you . But baby, that isn’t true.
It’s not a bad thing to love in black and white. Love was never made for grey anyway. So let go.
Have faith. And Just breathe. Let time do the healing.”
7 months ago
“Okay, so, sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're going to regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean, maybe not regret, regret because at least, you know, we put ourselves out there. But... still. Something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know will probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet, we do it anyway. What I'm saying is... we reap what we sow. What comes around goes around. It's karma and, any way you slice it... karma sucks.
Like I was saying, payback's a bitch.
One way or another our karma will leave us to face ourselves. We can look our karma in the eye or we can wait for it to sneak up on us from behind.
One way or another, our karma will always find us.
And the truth is, we have more chances than most to set the balance in our favor.
No matter how hard we try we can't escape our karma. It follows us home. I guess we can't really complain about karma. It's not unfair. It's not unexpected. It just... evens the score. And even when we're about to do something we know will tempt karma to bite us in the ass... well, it goes without saying.
We do it anyway.”
7 months ago
"We use the term "irrational" here because no matter how bad a person's life is, suicide is a permanent solution to what is nearly always a temporary problem. Suicide's effects are tragic and felt long after the individual has taken their own life . A person who dies leaves behind him or her, a tangled confusion of family members and friends who try to make sense of a senseless and purposeless act.
When someone tells you they are going to harm themselves, do something! Tell somebody! Give them their 15 minutes, validate them. Everybody needs validation. When you know there is somebody being bullied, don’t be a bystander. You’ll be just as guilty as the bullies when you stand by and do nothing. If You see it, you do something about it! If you don’t want to intervene, talk to an adult till somebody does something.
Listen as patiently as you can, pay attention, and take the conversation seriously. Sometimes, a teen’s family itself contributes to their pain, in that case, it’s better to consult a professional because they aren’t involved in the mess of troubled relationships. If the problem is at the highest extent, stay with them at all costs; most suicides are performed alone, so leaving them be would be more like putting the gun to their head. Instead, talk calmly with them. Don’t lecture, don’t judge them, and don’t point out the reasons why they shouldn’t kill themselves. Helping them and simply talking to a depressed teen can not only save them, but can show them that they aren’t alone in this world.
Sometimes you just have to remind then that it'll be okay. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. Make them say it enough that one day they will actually believe it. Remind them that things have changed and will change constantly. They have and will for a reason, people change for a reason. They just have to let go and move on. Its going to be hard and they're going to feel lonely but we all need to just hold on, cause who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life?
Suicide is never the answer!
Place your hand on your own heart. Feel that? That’s called PURPOSE. You’re alive for a reason. Don’t ever forget it .”
7 months ago
“What if the 'world' we have pictured is just a painting we have painted using our imagination and the limited colors on our palette ?
What if it is not what it is, rather it is what we 'think' it is? I know we all see traffic signals, we all see the same trees and we all see the same buildings and people.
What about those flowers which only some of us see, and even fewer among us actually go and smell them?
What about those leaves that fall off the tree, that only some of us see, and even fewer actually feel sad to see them like that?
What about those beaches and seashores, where only some of us let our feet drown in the sand, and even fewer think about the other end of the sea?
These and countless other things make the 'world' that you know.
When you feel like you don't like this world or its ways, you can just get a new palette and paint a new world and maybe, even add a rainbow to it?
But whatever you do, make sure you are the painter, and no else.”
7 months ago
“Is it normal ?
It is. It is normal.
It's not normal to you 'cause you've never done it. Instead of feeling it, feeling the grief and the pain, you've shoved it all down and you do drugs instead. Instead of moving through the pain, you run from it. You... Instead of dealing with being hurt and alone and afraid that this horrible, empty feeling is all there is, You run from it. You run off. We do these things. We run off, and we... we meditate. We do whatever it takes to cover it up and dull the sensation, but it's not normal. We're supposed to feel. We're supposed to love and hate... And hurt and grieve and break and... Be destroyed and... Rebuild ourselves to be destroyed again.
That is human. That is humanity. That's... That's being alive. That's the point. That's the entire point. Don't... don't avoid it. Don't... Extinguish it.
You have to believe there's a way. There has to be a way to step off the carousel. Start again. Start fresh.
There has to be a way to leave all my ghosts behind. It's a choice. It's a choice you’re making. To move forward. To move past this. You can do that.
You got this !
All you have to do is begin.”
7 months ago
“Picture the life you dreamed of living. The person you pictured being with. Picture the job you dreamed you'd have. Are you living the life you envisioned for yourself? Are you who you wanted to be when you grew up?
Open your eyes. Take a good look around you. How's the view? Do you like what you see? Think back again to when you were little. Are you living the life you pictured for yourself? Or are you still dreaming of something even bigger?
You have to picture it, no matter how hard life fights you. You have to see yourself, out of the messiness, out of the dark. You have to envision it, you in Paris, or Rome, or wherever the hell your heart wants to go, with your best friend, with the one you love, feeling like the whole world is opening up for you.
You have to picture it, the small apartment in your favorite city that you share with someone who is your biggest fan, the both of you sitting on the couch sipping coffee and reminiscing about all of the small and nameless things you got to share together.
You have to envision it, the morning you wake up and there is no heaviness in your chest, no lump in your throat. You have to envision it, the survival. The hope. The version of yourself you can’t, and won’t, give up on.
You have to envision it, you have to hold on to whatever it is that fills you with courage, because the world needs you here.
It needs you.”
7 months ago
“We like to pretend we're fearless. But the truth is we become people because somewhere deep down we think we can just cut away that which haunts us.
We don't always know what we're doing, but we act like we do. We walk into a country, plant a flag and start ordering people around. It's invigorating and terrifying.
We like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and soak up new experiences, but the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terror is part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies. We cut things open. Dive into dark water. And at the end of the day, isn't that what you'd rather to hear about? If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little calamity. Now that's worth talking about.
The truth is, I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away or shove it in the back of a closet, our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest.
Finally, finally to rest.
You suddenly rise above every heartache, sorrow and loss. You mend every battle scar and open wound and gather all the broken pieces of your heart, of your soul, of your life, putting them altogether and bandaging every crack, until it becomes whole again. You realize that it’s okay to be broken, to cry, to grieve, but it’s not okay to stay like that forever. There is suddenly hope, assurances that there will be better days for you, that there is a joy set before you, after all these mourning. That the sun will rise and the storm will cease, and the aftermath will not be as messy as the calamity but it will be beautiful, it will be a glorious. You realize that the ruins are magnificent. You heal. Heal over every physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pain and suffering. You regain all the lost strength and courage, a year of admittance – that we are broken, that we need healing.You take your time to heal, no matter how slow, as long as you are healing. You no longer fake strength; but just be honest with what’s going on inside you.
And suddenly you are whole, again. “