1 hour ago This is Clarkbark. Clarkbark has thoughts. He allows his thoughts safe passage to any of his nearest body exits. From these exit points, his thoughts are set free by a scientific techniqicular process called “unnoticed nitwitosis skullmeatastique dumbosis”. Although extremely unrare, transferable to humans & easily detected by any ol’ dumbnuts off the street, his symptoms will largely go ignored. Cuz, they’re boring. & cuz he walks into screen doors like he’s on a prank show with a look like “what’s a prank..? & what’s a show?” Perhaps these baffoonesque antics will illicit a unlicensed giggler to push out some giggle, illegally. But that my friendbags, is precisely why We need YOU! to crawl into the help rhombus & lend a fucking help. For only a few pieces of blue glitter a day, you can stop these silly giggles & close the mud flaps on the elitist smurf hunters who chuckled dem giggles. & maybe, return a lil o dat self esteem back to this majestically handsy yet discouragingly numbskulled
half-1/4-wit canine American, Pacific Islander (on his moms side. who gained entrance into Fresno illegally, by winning the notoriously dangerous, single elimination, winner take ball, Dildo fetch & hump a cowboy hat pro-am Tourney on the mean streets of Sausalito) back to normal. Sure, he showed the right stuff to win that coveted gold medal, but due to his chronic gooftits dumkoppfesis, he immediately had his gold medal bronzed. See? See what this terrible disease does even to defenseless medals? So in this seasonal give time of giving, where most of you really wanna appear to be giving lots in a very public way for the purpose of gaining that sweet social currency, you’ll certainly squander attempting to get a donor heart from a 3rd world people person, in the hopes you will feel emotions again. Hell, maybe you’ll even feel a drop of remorse for the lives of the farchucktwa boy & girl you killed to get the heart (& spare) in the first place. But I digress... say what are you guys doing here in my dojo? But I digre...so please, won’t you reach into your sticky gross fannypack & toss this pooch a handful of glitter?
17 hours ago thank you marie capriata for the time love and attention
all the best, jho
2 weeks ago It's a Christmas miracle on vinyl!!!
Joshua Homme & @cwstoneking
"Twas The Night Before Christmas
Brody Dalle, Joshua Homme & their three little elves
Digital release 12/7
Ltd edition 7” available 12/14
Pre-order now exclusively from Qotsa.com - link in bio!
1 month ago New episode of #AlligatorHour with Joshua Homme this weekend! Guest Liam Lynch, who animates all these dad gum promo vids.🐊 Listen on @beats1 every Sunday at 7AM PT / 10AM ET / 3PM GMT.
1 month ago It’s back!
Season 4 of #AlligatorHour with Joshua Homme starts this weekend. Guest CW Stoneking. Listen on @beats1official every Sunday at:
1 month ago Joshua is back on @beats1official for a special 2 hour Halloween edition of the #AlligatorHour. Hear it Wednesday on AppleMusic: 10AM LA / 1PM NYC / 5PM LDN.
Listen free: apple.co/joshlive