3 months ago I stole this from her snapchat, so hopefully she doesn’t hate me BUTTTTTT Lina is my #WCE 😍😍😍 suchhhh a beautiful, strong, sweet woman that’s made such strides becoming more body positive! Yayyy round of applause for you girl 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 💃🏽😍😘💁🏻♀️
3 months ago A letter to him;
I really can’t blame you for anything. While some of my issues may come from my relationship with you, I was a willing participant and I take responsibility for my life. I read a quote a long time ago that said “I lost myself loving you.” And now more than ever, I believe that to be the case. I lost myself in your arms, in your reassurance, in your love that I’m not sure was ever love. I lost myself trying to be what you needed and desired, never thinking about the damage it was doing to me. It’s been 2.5 years since this started, and this last year more than ever I’ve realized how much this fucked me up. I look in the mirror sometimes and don’t recognize who looks back at me. I am constantly trying to replace you. Constantly searching for that love you so beautifully half gave me for 3 years. Constantly trying to make myself forget how confusing it all is with alcohol, and food, and sex. How do I replace someone so perfect and and yet so absent in my life? I’m obsessive and addictive person by nature, and I just can’t seem to let you go. We may not talk for days, weeks, or a month, but you play in my mind daily like a bad rerun. Or is it my favorite rerun? I can’t tell anymore. I’m lost and I can’t look to you for directions anymore. I want 2018 to be the year I fix myself. Where I can find my own way out of this mess. Where I find myself, and I love myself and realize that I deserve so much more than your half love. You’ve said it for years but I never listened. Figures huh? The only thing I wouldn’t listen to was you tell me I deserved better, and way more than you were able to give. I know you love me. Or loved me. It may not have been the same as my love, but if we ever measured love like that we would drive ourselves crazy. It’s neither here nor there now. I love you, and I thank you for every positive thing you’ve helped me with, said to me, did for me. Cause although I am as broken as ever, I don’t believe you did it maliciously. I never heard a single negative comment from you, even when I deserved it. Always felt beautiful in your eyes, even if it wasn’t said. Now is the time where I feel beautiful in MY eyes.